April 1| Colossians 3:13| The Freedom of Forgiveness: How to Release the Burden and Find Peace
đź“– Colossians 3:13
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
Have you ever felt weighed down by resentment and hurt? This comprehensive guide explores the biblical foundation of forgiveness, practical steps to begin your journey, and the unexpected freedom that awaits when you choose to let go.
The Hidden Weight We Carry
We all recognize physical burdens. When someone carries a heavy backpack, we can see their shoulders slump and their pace slow. But what about the invisible burdens we carry—particularly the weight of unforgiveness?
Consider my neighbor's story. For decades, he carried a grudge against his brother over an inheritance dispute. Whenever he spoke about his brother, his entire demeanor would change—shoulders hunching, face tightening, seeming to age a decade in moments. This unforgiveness wasn't just an emotional state; it had become a physical burden altering how he moved through the world.
For years, they hadn't spoken. I would watch him walking through our neighborhood, always looking downward, always carrying that invisible weight—until one day, something changed. Suddenly, he stood taller and walked with a lightness I hadn't seen before. When I asked what happened, his answer was profoundly simple: "I finally put it down. I forgave him. We may never be close again, but I'm no longer a prisoner to that pain."
His transformation illustrated a powerful truth that scripture has been teaching for thousands of years—unforgiveness isn't just spiritually damaging; it's a burden that affects our entire being.
The Biblical Foundation for Forgiveness
The Bible speaks extensively about forgiveness, but perhaps none more clearly than Colossians 3:13 (NIV):
"Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
This verse comes from Paul's letter to early Christians in Colossae, where he was teaching them how to live as new creations in Christ. Notice the imperative nature of the instruction—forgiveness isn't presented as an option or suggestion but as the natural overflow of understanding how completely God has forgiven us.
The phrase "Forgive as the Lord forgave you" establishes our model for forgiveness:
Completely - God doesn't partially forgive
Without keeping a record of wrongs - He doesn't maintain a ledger
Without bringing it up again later - It's truly forgotten
Without conditions or prerequisites - His forgiveness is unconditional
When we understand the magnitude of God's forgiveness toward us, our own struggles to forgive others are placed in stark perspective.
Misconceptions About Forgiveness
Before discussing how to forgive, it's important to address what forgiveness is not:
Forgiveness Is Not Saying the Offense Didn't Matter
When someone hurts us deeply, forgiveness doesn't minimize or invalidate our pain. The injury was real. The offense mattered. Forgiveness doesn't require us to pretend otherwise.
Forgiveness Is Not Pretending You Weren't Hurt
Authentic forgiveness acknowledges the full extent of the pain. Rather than denying our wounds, forgiveness allows us to face them honestly while choosing to release the offender from the debt they owe us.
Forgiveness Is Not Necessarily Reconciliation
While reconciliation may be the ideal outcome in many situations, forgiveness can occur independently of it. Some relationships may never be restored, either because it's unsafe or because the other person is unwilling. Forgiveness is something you can give regardless of the other person's response.
The Surprising Freedom of Forgiveness
Jesus emphasized forgiveness frequently in His teachings. In Matthew 6:14-15, He said:
"For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins."
These strong words highlight an often-overlooked truth: forgiveness isn't primarily a gift you give to someone else—it's a gift you give yourself.
When we refuse to forgive:
We remain bound to the offense
We relive the pain whenever we remember what happened
Our peace is continually stolen
We drink poison hoping the other person gets sick
But when we choose forgiveness—even when every feeling in our body resists it—we begin experiencing the freedom Christ died to give us. We take the first step toward healing. We align ourselves with God's heart.
Practical Steps Toward Forgiveness
1. Start with a Decision, Not a Feeling
Forgiveness begins with a choice, not an emotion. You might pray something simple like:
"God, I choose to forgive [name] for [offense]. I release them to You. Help my heart catch up with this decision."
This prayer acknowledges that our feelings often lag behind our choices. That's normal and doesn't invalidate the sincerity of your decision to forgive.
2. Refuse to Rehearse the Offense
Unforgiveness thrives on repetition. Each time we mentally replay what happened or share the story with others, we strengthen its hold on us.
When thoughts of the offense come—and they will—gently redirect your focus. Some find it helpful to literally visualize placing the offense in God's hands.
3. Set Healthy Boundaries
Forgiveness doesn't equal trust. While forgiveness can be given immediately, trust must be rebuilt over time through changed behavior. You can fully forgive someone while still maintaining appropriate boundaries if necessary.
For example, you might forgive a habitually dishonest person while still requiring transparency and accountability in your interactions with them. These boundaries aren't punishment; they're protection that allows the relationship a chance to heal.
4. Recognize Forgiveness as a Process
For minor offenses, forgiveness might be a one-time event. For deeper wounds, it's often a process—sometimes a daily, even moment-by-moment choice. You might forgive, then feel anger or hurt come flooding back, requiring you to forgive again.
This doesn't mean your initial forgiveness wasn't genuine. It simply reflects the depth of the wound and the time needed for complete healing.
Finding Strength to Forgive the Unforgivable
If you're struggling with forgiveness today—perhaps facing a hurt so deep it seems impossible to release—remember that you don't have to do this in your own strength.
The same God who calls you to forgive has promised to give you everything you need to obey Him. He understands your pain more deeply than anyone else possibly could, and He's with you in the process.
As you consider the journey of forgiveness before you, I encourage you to:
Be patient with yourself. Healing rarely happens overnight, especially for significant wounds.
Seek support. Sometimes we need others to walk alongside us. Consider talking with a trusted friend, pastor, or professional counselor.
Remember God's forgiveness of you. Our ability to forgive others is directly connected to our understanding of how much we've been forgiven.
Start with what you can. If total forgiveness seems impossible today, begin with the willingness to be willing to forgive. Ask God to soften your heart and take the first small step.
The Life-Changing Impact of Forgiveness
When we choose forgiveness, the transformation extends beyond our spiritual life. Research has consistently shown that forgiveness positively impacts our:
Physical health - reduced stress, lower blood pressure, improved immune function
Mental health - decreased depression and anxiety, increased hope
Relationships - greater empathy, improved communication
Overall well-being - increased joy, peace, and life satisfaction
Like my neighbor who suddenly stood taller and walked lighter, the freedom that comes from forgiveness can change how we physically move through the world.
Your Invitation to Freedom
Today, I invite you to consider: Who do you need to forgive? What burden of resentment are you ready to put down?
You might want to spend some time journaling about this or simply sitting quietly with God, allowing Him to bring to mind anyone you need to forgive. Then, take that first step—make the decision to forgive, even if your feelings haven't caught up yet.
Remember, forgiveness is a journey, and you don't have to take it alone. God is with you every step of the way, and the freedom waiting on the other side is worth every difficult moment of the process.
The chains of unforgiveness have been holding you back long enough. Today can be the day you begin to break free.
This article was inspired by our devotional video "The Freedom of Forgiveness." For more content on spiritual growth and biblical teaching, subscribe to our YouTube channel and join our community of believers seeking to live in the freedom Christ offers.
An Invitation to go Deeper….
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