How to Find Love as a Single Parent While Trusting God’s Plan
The Raw Truth About Love and Loneliness
You know the feeling: you’re up late, scrolling through Instagram, and there it is—another perfectly filtered couple’s selfie. Meanwhile, your life is anything but filtered. Between work deadlines, soccer practices, and wondering if you remembered to defrost the chicken, love feels like something for other people. Not you. Not now.
Here’s the reality check: love isn’t a fairy tale, and for single parents, it’s more like a gritty survival story with plot twists. But here’s the twist you didn’t see coming: God’s plan for your life, including love, isn’t delayed or derailed—it’s being meticulously crafted. Today, we’re peeling back the layers of what it means to seek love as a single parent without losing faith, your sanity, or your identity. Let’s go deep, let’s get honest, and let’s find hope in the chaos.
Part 1: Why Dating as a Single Parent Feels Like an Uphill Battle
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: dating as a single parent is not the rom-com the world sells you. Your time is sliced thinner than deli meat. Your emotional energy? Already spent. And there’s that gnawing question: “Will anyone ever want the whole package—me and my kids?”
Society isn’t doing you any favors here. Dating apps feel like emotional Russian roulette. People either see your kids as “baggage” or put you on a pedestal you never asked for. And the guilt? Don’t even get started on the guilt—taking time for yourself can feel like stealing from your kids.
But here’s the truth no one tells you: Your circumstances don’t disqualify you from love. They refine you for it. Psalm 34:18 reminds us, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Crushed doesn’t mean crushed forever—it means you’re being shaped into someone unshakable.
Part 2: The Death Grip of Your Timeline vs. The Freedom of God’s Timing
Let’s get real about control. We love to think we’re in charge of life’s timeline. By now, you were supposed to have the dream job, the Pinterest-worthy home, and the spouse who makes you coffee every morning. Instead, you’re rewarming yesterday’s coffee while wondering how to navigate custody schedules.
This obsession with “timing” is what keeps us stuck. Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, “He has made everything beautiful in its time.” Not your time. His. That’s hard to swallow, especially when you feel like time is running out.
But think about it—if you’re stuck in traffic, you don’t floor it through the red light just to make up for lost time. Why? Because rushing doesn’t make the destination any closer; it just adds chaos to the journey. Trusting God’s timing is about slowing down enough to let Him clear the path, even if you don’t see the green light yet.
Section 3: You Don’t Need to Be “Fixed” to Be Loved
There’s a toxic narrative floating around that you need to be “whole” before you’re worthy of love. That’s garbage. No one’s whole. No one’s perfect. What you need isn’t perfection—it’s authenticity.
Here’s the real work:
Heal From Your Wounds, Not Your Scars: Wounds fester, but scars show where you’ve overcome. Pray over the areas where you still feel raw. Invite God into the spaces you’d rather avoid.
Know What You Value: If you don’t know what you’re looking for, how will you know when you’ve found it? Focus less on superficial qualities like height or hobbies and more on whether they align with your faith and values.
See Yourself Through God’s Eyes: You’re not just someone’s ex or someone’s mom or dad. You’re a masterpiece in progress. Ephesians 2:10 says, “For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works.” Act like it.
Part 4: Stop Over-Spiritualizing and Start Acting
Faith isn’t passive—it’s active. Trusting God doesn’t mean sitting on the couch waiting for Prince Charming to break in with a glass slipper. Faith means stepping out, even when the path feels shaky.
Pray Specifically: Don’t just pray for love in general. Pray for wisdom to discern who’s right for you and your kids. Pray for courage to let go of relationships that aren’t God’s best.
Engage in Community: Love rarely shows up when you’re hiding. Join a church group, volunteer, or attend events where faith and community intersect. The person you’re meant to meet might already be where you need to go.
Set Non-Negotiables: There’s no shame in knowing what you won’t tolerate. Guarding your heart, like Proverbs 4:23 says, isn’t about building walls; it’s about building gates that open for the right person.
Part 5: The 3-Qualities Prayer Challenge
Let’s make this practical. Right now, grab your phone or a notebook and write down three qualities you’re looking for in a partner. Not “perfect” qualities—qualities that align with the life you’re building.
Next, commit to praying over these qualities every day for the next week. Not praying for someone with these qualities, but praying over them. Ask God to refine your vision and align your desires with His will.
Part 6: You’re Not Late—You’re in Process
Here’s the mindset shift: Your life isn’t a race, and you’re not behind. What feels like a delay is actually divine preparation. Imagine this—five years from now, you look back on this season and realize it was the workshop where God shaped you for the person He was preparing for you.
Romans 8:28 reminds us, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him.” All things. Even the lonely nights. Even the heartbreaks. Even the waiting.
God bless you, my friends,
-Adam Wilber
In Closing: Building Hope While You Wait
As we wrap this up, let’s land here: Trusting God’s plan doesn’t mean ignoring your desires—it means submitting them to His wisdom. You’re not too much, and you’re not too late. You’re exactly where you need to be for God to do something extraordinary.
So here’s your next step: Reflect on those three qualities you wrote down, and start praying over them this week. And if you’re looking for more resources or encouragement, head over to FaithLabz.com. We’re here to help you navigate faith, family, and everything in between.
You’ve got this. Because God’s got you.
